There’s no magic way of building self-confidence.
Confidences come from being yourself and showing that you can succeed. It also comes from others recognizing that you’re good at some particular skill and letting you know that they trust you to come through for them.
How do I build self-confidence? How can I improve self esteem;
Here’s a list I put down mostly gotten from my own experiences and interviewing others on building self-confidence:
1. 𝗔𝗰𝗰𝗲𝗽𝘁 𝘆𝗼𝘂𝗿𝘀𝗲𝗹𝗳, 𝗹𝗼𝘃𝗲 𝘆𝗼𝘂𝗿𝘀𝗲𝗹𝗳 𝗳𝗼𝗿 𝘄𝗵𝗼 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝗮𝗿𝗲:
Keep in mind that you can eventually improve in some areas not to get others to validate you but for your own happiness. Self-love and appreciation will boost your self-confidence knowing you can do anything you set your mind to do.
2. 𝗣𝗿𝗮𝗰𝘁𝗶𝗰𝗲 Taking action solves most worries. The more you do things that are really important, the more you get familiar with them and build confidence afterwards. If you want to be a good writer, you’ve got to practice daily. “Amateurs call it genius. Masters call it practice.”
3. 𝗦𝘁𝗮𝗿𝘁 𝘀𝗺𝗮𝗹𝗹: give yourself small goals to achieve and then credit yourself for achieving. “You must build the on the small to achieve the great.”* Make small wins every day; as small steps builds bigger leaps.
Don’t take this for granted, applaud the shit out of yourself for small victories.
Example : Waking up early every day until it becomes a habit. - Doing your most important task first thing in the morning before scrolling social media. - Reading at least 30 minutes a day.
𝟰. 𝗚𝗼𝗮𝗹 𝘀𝗲𝘁𝘁𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝘀𝘁𝗮𝘆𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗳𝗼𝗰𝘂𝘀𝗲𝗱 𝗼𝗻 𝘆𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝗴𝗼𝗮𝗹𝘀: Someone who knows where he’s headed to would be more confident than one who hasn’t taken the time to decide where he wants to be.
Goal setting is free; yet few people take advantage of this. Keeping focused on the goal when you fall is paramount; it’s what gives you the drive to get up when you fall; the idea is to identify and fix what keeps tripping you…then celebrating every little success.
5. 𝗣𝗿𝗲𝗽𝗮𝗿𝗮𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻: fortune favours the bold. Dig before you’re thirsty. Do things that are important but not urgent; rather than always living in a haste; slowly your confidence and others trust in you largely increases.
𝗘𝘅𝗮𝗺𝗽𝗹𝗲 : Get organized by writing and planning your day, the night before, and/or week by the weekend.
𝟲. 𝗕𝗲 𝗖𝗼𝗺𝗽𝗲𝘁𝗲𝗻𝘁 : Become competent in your daily works and you don’t need to effort confidence; it will come naturally. Otherwise it’s just inflation.
𝟳. 𝗕𝗲 𝗽𝗼𝘀𝗶𝘁𝗶𝘃𝗲 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗯𝗲 𝘄𝗶𝗹𝗹𝗶𝗻𝗴 . Always say you WILL do something (instead of you can). It starts with never doubting yourself. Be consistent. Stay healthy.
𝟴. 𝗦𝘁𝗲𝗽 𝗼𝘂𝘁 𝗼𝗳 𝘆𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝗰𝗼𝗺𝗳𝗼𝗿𝘁 𝘇𝗼𝗻𝗲 . It takes guts to getting comfortable with the uncomfortable. Do what scares you as often as you can. Most of the time, what you’re putting off; is usually the most important.
𝟵. 𝗕𝘆 𝗱𝗼𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝘄𝗼𝗿𝗸, 𝗱𝗼 𝗨𝗻𝗰𝗼𝗺𝗳𝗼𝗿𝘁𝗮𝗯𝗹𝗲 𝘁𝗵𝗶𝗻𝗴𝘀You can’t escape this. Don’t overthink, listen to your intuition and go for it. Try something Hard - decide to do sh*t, you never thought you could do. The better you know what you’re good at and not good at; the more you confidence in yourself grows. But first you have to try.
𝟭𝟬. 𝗕𝗲 𝗰𝗼𝗻𝘀𝗶𝘀𝘁𝗲𝗻𝘁: self-confidence builds by following through on mini targets.“It’s not what you know, it’s what you do consistently.” - Tony Robbins.
𝟭𝟭. 𝗕𝗲 𝗦𝗲𝗹𝗲𝗰𝘁𝗶𝘃𝗲 𝗼𝗻 𝘄𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝗱𝗼: Focus on what you feel adds value and meaning to the world. Do something you’re good at. Being the generic opportunistic and looking for trends guy is a crap way to build confidence.
𝟭𝟮. 𝗤𝘂𝗶𝘁 𝗽𝗿𝗼𝗰𝗿𝗮𝘀𝘁𝗶𝗻𝗮𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻 – When you hesitate, you create doubt, then the lack of self-confidence gets in the middle.
𝟭𝟯. 𝗟𝗲𝗮𝗿𝗻 𝗳𝗿𝗼𝗺 𝘆𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝗳𝗮𝗶𝗹𝘂𝗿𝗲𝘀 – take your lessons of loss and doubt and turn them inside out. The biggest lessons like that often strengthen us to confront almost anything that reflects those same feelings.” E.g. if you’ve lost someone significant, then you know what loss truly feels like.
𝟭𝟰. 𝗜𝗻𝘃𝗲𝘀𝘁 𝗶𝗻 𝘆𝗼𝘂𝗿𝘀𝗲𝗹𝗳 –build your skillset, be the best in it, be so good you can’t be ignored or replaced, or so good everyone comes to you for your service.
𝟭𝟱. 𝗔𝘀𝘀𝗲𝘀𝘀 𝘆𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝘀𝘁𝗿𝗲𝗻𝗴𝘁𝗵𝘀/𝘀𝗸𝗶𝗹𝗹𝘀 ; assess our skills, experiences, and your contributions. Build your foundation on your results. You’ll build real self confidence.
𝟭𝟲. 𝗞𝗲𝗲𝗽 𝗰𝗼𝗺𝗺𝗶𝘁𝗺𝗲𝗻𝘁𝘀: starting from yourself . Keep promises you make to yourself by following through on what you say you’re going to do. You earn trust and respect with yourself when you do. Commit to doing something that challenges you. Then do that thing. Repeat.
𝟭𝟳. 𝗠𝗮𝗸𝗲 𝗽𝗼𝘀𝗶𝘁𝗶𝘃𝗲 𝗮𝗳𝗳𝗶𝗿𝗺𝗮𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻𝘀 – listening and repeating positive affirmations and mantra; build your confidence from within.
𝟭𝟴. 𝗖𝗼𝗻𝘀𝘂𝗺𝗲 𝗽𝗼𝘀𝗶𝘁𝗶𝘃𝗲 𝘀𝘁𝘂𝗳𝗳 ; don’t spend your day listening to sad music because someone offended you the day before. Or spend your day reading comments on a troll on social media. Feed your brain, empowering thoughts.
𝟭𝟵. 𝗕𝗲 𝗔𝘂𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗻𝘁𝗶𝗰: Authenticity builds your self-confidence. Do what you say and say what you mean.
𝟮𝟬. 𝗥𝗮𝗶𝘀𝗲 𝘆𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝘀𝘁𝗮𝗻𝗱𝗮𝗿𝗱𝘀 : most times, feeling low could be a sign you need to raise your standards. A lack of money could be a sign you need to ask for a raise, or increase your price or even start a side hustle. Make commitments, do them; set your bar higher from what you tolerate from yourself and others. Lastly, remember you can do whatever you set your mind to achieve. Don’t allow anyone or self-doubt kill those dreams
These are few ways to boost your confidence, improve self esteem & increase selfworth.