The simple realization that everybody cannot like you and you cannot please everyone is a life hack.
Why because so many factors come into play on how people make such decisions and most are NOT about you.
Sometimes people judge you based on how you look, height, perceived wealth etc.
All these hardly have anything to do with your Character which is the inside-you yet so many people focus on these.
This shows that you cannot really control what people think and say about you.
Even in relationships, I recently heard of a man that insists the lady must have “good eyesight” and non-dependent on glasses. While some claim the lady must know how to dress or to cook.
I’ve also overhead ladies that insist a man must not be living with his parents before approaching them. He must be rich or have a secured job.
If you have no immediate control over this, how much worse is it to try proving yourself to others?
Your need for validation from others is ruining your life.
Most people are struggling with the common enemy called “Ego.” You may think their reactions and behaviours are about what they say about you but most times it’s a battle with “self.” And they just bombard the heat to anyone that comes their way.
You’re never going to be fully happy until you realize you’re enough.
On your own as a human being you’re enough. No money, no achievement, and most importantly no validation from any other person can make you feel more whole as you presently are.
Trust your Intuition on your worth
Most times, our intuition is right about people we should flow with. Forcing relationships or seeking attention from people just to feel loved is mostly against your guts. We feel how wrong it is but continue only to end up in Regrets.
I saw recently a scene in a movie where a King insisted on marrying a particular queen from another tribe who had zero interest in him.
As a matter of fact, she saw him as a weak king and was always insisting he proved his worth and strength to her. To cut the long story short, she never submitted to him even after marriage which eventually cost him and his brother’s life.
“The loudest person in the room is not always the smartest.”
What we don’t realize is most people that feel totally unsure of themselves– are too proud to show any self-doubt.
That’s why people way smarter than you may be trying to seek your validation just to feel a little confident even though the opposite is true.
Why do we try or focus on seeking external validation from others?
Most times, we want to gain their love, respect, acceptance and support.
Which sounds good on the surface – but the fact is most people operate out of a “transactional mindset” including in the aspect of love and judge a book by its cover.
Sometimes we want to belong to their “class.” If only we know that the “class” they built was only made of walls of ego; that are destined to crash.
So if you don’t have or are willing to give everything they demand – your efforts would be in vain.
And for the most part of seeking external validation, it’s usually more of the former and you’re left helpless.
If anything – we lose time, respect and energy trying to please others.
I’ll end in the words of one of my favourite Rapper – Lecrae:
“If you live for their acceptance
You’ll die from their Rejection.”